Posted by: Major Dan (markj89@charter.net) on Tue May 6 09:33:05 2003

I would like to no how to bone my wood baseball bat.I heard about this in the movie the natural.Any info would help. Thank u
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> Ricky:
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> Buy a chicken at the market and cook it. Baking works best. Eat the chicken. Save a thigh bone. Rub the bone in the direction of the grain on the barrel of bat. Do not rub across the grain, it only produces weak grounders. Rubbing with the grain will produce lots of frozen ropes. As you apply steady pressure to the bone as you rub along the grain, you must also visualize stroking clean shots into the gaps and bombs into the bleachers for each stroke you make with the bone. The more you bone the bat, the more hits the bat will produce. Do not share your bone with any other player. No one else may touch your bone. Do not let a dog sniff, lick or bite your bone. When you have exhuasted transfering hits from the bone into the bat, bury the bone respectfully deep in center field. Do this when no one can see you. One bone for one bat. Thats it. Go get em. Work hard, make your own luck, stay off the foul line, always step into the box with your rear foot first.

Fantastic! funniest post I've read in a while.